This paladin stalks the land with a sword that he claims talks to him, and there’s a backstory involving a stone, and I think there were some talking birds in there somewhere, or was it a dog? Anyway, you can’t trust what a wandering knight says. Just look at those shifty cornflower blue eyes, and that sparkling golden hair. (It can’t possibly be natural.) He never takes off the armor, either, which is downright unsocial when you’re in a tavern where regular guys just want to kick back and have a few brews at the end of the day and maybe punch someone. How can they do that with him sitting there being all judgy? Plus, the Nice Guy always tips twenty-five percent. That’s unheard of. The servers are going to get ideas that they’re people if this keeps up.
Nobody knows Mister Nice Guy’s real name, or where he came from, or where he got that golden sword, or even if the sword is real gold or not. And the flower on the shield is just plain insulting. Maybe he’s an enchanted bee.
Also, Mister Nice Guy is sort of confused about his whole heroic identity, because what he generally says before engaging an evil foe is, “All right! No more Mister Nice Guy!” Which is exactly what the foe wants, but then the hero not only doesn’t disappear, but he starts swinging this brutally effective sword. So really, when he says “No more Mister Nice Guy,” what he means is, “Here comes a whole lot of Mister Nice Guy!” Which is quite misleading when you think about it. And yet, this fellow’s a Do-Gooder. Go figure.