For as long as anyone can remember, Eekrah the Nasty has held court in Seven-Spine Tower, an astonishingly narrow and crooked tower which is so architecturally unsound that it clearly must be at least 51% sorcery just to stay vertical. Eekrah, who is himself a tall and crooked creature with alarmingly long claw-tipped fingers, is an unpredictable and capricious lord with a bent for magical experimentation. It’s not clear what the goals of his research are, since despite tirelessly laboring in his tower chambers on arcane experiments, little seems to come of Eekrah’s efforts. He did create a particularly fine species of porcupinoids once, manning his battlements with the fearsome creatures, but after a week decided that they clashed with the furniture and he threw them all into his giant cauldron to start anew.
The cauldron is worth mentioning because it’s the size of a house, and it’s perpetually brewing something. A host of small nozzles and complicated pipework stems from the base of the thing at various points, and Eekrah or one of his postdoctoral minions collects whatever comes out of the nozzles, which can vary considerably, believe you me. (The glow in the dark string-cheese bats were a particularly unusual product.) When Eekrah sends his troops forth to conquer, he usually does so in order to collect new ingredients for the cauldron goo and/or experimental subjects to dunk in the cauldron goo.
Some believe that Eekrah’s true goal is to brew a compelling but overpriced espresso capable of holding the population under his sway, funneling endless streams of gold into his coffers as he builds outposts all over the world. Crazy, huh?
