War is a terrible thing, but that doesn’t mean it need be inhumane. So say the Cavalry of Caring, a holy order of knights with a nurturing and holistic approach to heroism that values virtuous intent as much as the starlight lances these noble warriors carry. It is an order whose philosophy balances earth and spirit, need and desire, violence and healing. It makes absolutely no goddamn sense at all.
The whole point of a knight is that you're a warrior with a sharp stick on a horse who stabs other people. I mean, that’s basically it. You wear armor so the other guy doesn’t stab you back, and you ride a horse so you can stab faster and more violently than you could on foot. The Cavalry of Caring has got this whole thing backwards, and for the life of me I can’t figure out how they can actually believe this hippy-dippy philosophy. They train in both healing and mounted combat, and the handles of their lances are stuffed with first-aid supplies: talk about mixed messages! There’s a famous story about a whole company of Caring that stopped off in a village for a tea-party with a little girl suffering from a serious illness. Who does that? How is this a thing?
Regrettably, although they’re skilled healers and self-professed souls of gentility, they’re also skilled knights. Their hoity-toity, contradictory moral code doesn’t seem to stop them from running evildoers through over and over again with their horrible shiny lances.
